‘Twas Cephalopodmas Eve, and all though the dark hall,
No creature dared stir, or even move much at all.
The children were in their beds, sleeping all through the night,
While their much wiser parents could but shiver with fright.
Only Cuddlefish and I were awake at that hour,
With no sanity left for the dark beast to devour.
We hung tori on the tree, having nothing to fear,
Just hoping that Cthulhu would come visit this year.
Then we knew our unholiday cheer was not lacking,
When from up on the roof came a shrill muffled clacking!
We could sense his arrival then, quite unresisted;
Our minds filled with his scent, evil, bitter and twisted;
Our first sight was a tentacle, dark, writhing and curled;
A terrifying tendril that could grasp all the world.
My gaze leapt from that limb to his visage, slick and foul,
When from his horrible mouth came a mind-piercing howl!
I stood there quite resolutely and showed him no dread,
While his invisible mind-tendrils groped at my head;
Of the things that came next, I have but little to speak;
I quite nearly burst open with an ecstatic shriek.
And just as I fainted with a soft whimper and sigh,
I heard him exclaim with a gurgled alien cry:
Ia! Ia! Ia! Mlq’weh Cephalopodmas gwgr fa,
Ng mlq’weh utr’fn wo thir cthan wo tala!
Cephalopodmas gwgr fa, everybody!